Mediation

David Siegel: Right, and most of the judges want to make sure that that point is stressed, and if there's ever an issue at any point along the case, the court is likely going to order some type of mediation so that the parties know how to deal with each other, vis a vis, with the children. That's court-ordered mediation which is free, which is just a great benefit.

Jesse Barrientes: Mediation isn't free.

David Siegel: Court-ordered mediation is free.

Jesse Barrientes: Well actually I believe it is in Cook.

David Siegel: In Cook County it is.

Jesse Barrientes: Some of the other counties, I'm going to tell you, there's a charge for that. There certainly are opportunities for pro bono that mediators have to do that if the situation requires it, but in most of the other counties there's a charge for that.

David Siegel: It basically gets the parents on board with how they should behave, whether they can or not, with regards to the children as they're going through this very difficult process, because it's hard on everybody. It's hard on the parties, it's hard on the children, and it even gets to be hard on the court when it gets in to a custody battle.

Jesse Barrientes: It does, and just kind of from our last show we were talking about the difference between a contested and uncontested, an uncontested divorce with a Joliet divorce lawyer, meaning you're in agreement on everything. You're in agreement on the custody, the visitation, on everything, and all you've got to do is sign the papers and they get filed. Contested meaning, we might be in agreement that we're going to get divorced, but we don't agree on any of the specifics. That's still contested.

With that being said – it's important for people to know that – if it is a situation where it's agreed, great. There's not going to be mediation because you guys are in agreement. What happens though is if you're not in agreement, the court, the very first thing they're going to do is to order that mediation. If you're in Cook, then you're not going to pay for it, but if you're in the other counties you will. That's okay because the mediator is somebody who is basically in charge of the process of trying to reach an agreement, and the two parties are in charge of the outcome.

Basically, what they tell you, and it's very true, is that if you guys don't come to an agreement, the goal is for them to come to an agreement, not for the mediator to tell you what to do or what not to do, but to be able to kind of lead you in the right direction so that you guys, the parties, can come to some resolution. Otherwise the judge who is going to hear a very thumbnail sketch of your life is going to make a decision that both sides are not going to like.

David Siegel: Not only that, but it's better to compromise. Give a little, take a little, work out that agreement amongst yourselves, otherwise you're rolling the dice that the judge is going to decide with you or with your spouse, or come up with some kind of mix of the two that really neither one of you is happy with. It's always best if you can work it out. This goes for any case, if you can resolve cases. I know you stress that a lot, even when I'm involved in some form of litigation usually. You say, "Dave, will you settle this? Can anything be done to settle it?"

Jesse Barrientes: That's what we try to do.

David Siegel: Yeah. It's definitely a good idea, especially with the family. This was something that was brought together hopefully based on love. A child or children are now a part of this family that's going to exist beyond this court event. It's very important that they try and resolve it on their own, but the most important thing is who is going to handle the children? Who is going to have custody?

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