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Waukegan

2835 Belvidere Road
Suite 202
Waukegan, IL 60085

(847) 520-8100

Appointments available Friday:
9:00 AM - 1:00 PM
Saturday 8:00 AM - 11:30 AM
Please call for scheduling

Success of Mediation

David Siegel: How about some success stories while we have a few minutes left? Tell me a couple success stories that mediation's done really well with.

Jesse Barrientes: Actually, again, a recent one, folks came in and it was custody visitation. We sat through the first session. We were able to resolve it, and that was really fantastic because it was a custody issue, and they had a whole bunch of commonalities which was their concern for the children. They wanted to maximize their parenting time. They wanted to spend time with them. Each party – what essentially happens is you put out a confidential questionnaire, and you have people answer those, so you review those before they come to the first session. It gives you ideas, and you're supposed to screen as a mediator for all types of things.

For example, for any types of disabilities, for any type of abuse, domestic violence, substance abuse, those kinds of things. If their answers to the questions reveal those things then you get a little bit further deeper in to those issues. That's how you kind of have an idea, where you see where people have answered everything pretty much the same except in a couple of questions that are those red flag questions, and you kind of dive a little bit deeper in to that scenario. Anyway, we did that. We were able to resolve the issue of custody after the first session.

David Siegel: It must feel great to help people in Waukegan take the weight off their shoulders, eliminate some of those issues, because the underlying divorce process is riddled with difficulties, things that needed to be negotiated out, and if you can nip one or two of these big issues, it must feel great.

Jesse Barrientes: Right. They fall in to place. I really, really enjoy doing that. However, I have to tell you, then the second time, they came in and we're just going to work out visitation. I'm just expecting we're just going to talk about the visitation schedule. Then I find out that one of the parties, the party who's going to have residential custody, doesn't want the other party to have overnight visitation.

David Siegel: Why not? What was the reason for this?

Jesse Barrientes: There were a couple of reasons. One reason was she was fearful that he was going to take the kids to Mexico, out of state.

David Siegel: Okay. Legitimate concern, but in reality, even if he doesn't have overnight visitation—

Jesse Barrientes: They're part of the Geneva Convention.

David Siegel: During his daytime.

Jesse Barrientes: Exactly right, and that's what we talked about. She had kind of an understanding that the court is going to order visitation unless there is some serious other problems, and over night, unless the child is very, very young. There's something that people need to understand too, that when you go in to mediation, either you're going to make and come to a decision yourselves between the two parties, a decision that both of you have worked to do, or either you're going to put that decision, that power, in to the hands of a judge. Although it could be the greatest judge in the world, okay, doesn't matter. The problem is that this judge is going to hear a thumbnail sketch of your situation, of your life. Then he's going to make a decision that you're going to be stuck with. If the parties are able to come to an agreement together, they are more apt to stay to it, and they're going to be happier because they've helped to created that agreement.

David Siegel: In all fairness, the judges don't want to make that decision. They really want to facilitate the parties to make an agreement, because they don’t want to get involved in that kind of thing. If the parties reach an agreement on their own, that's much better than the court who doesn't really know these parties, and doesn't have a history with them, having to make an order, and a ruling.

Jesse Barrientes: That's correct. That's the best thing in the world when you do it yourself, because you can take the pride in that. Again, if you're focused on the commonalities which are, "Hey, listen. I'm just interested in what's best for my child. I'm interested. I want to spend as much time as I can with them." Then you realize, "Wait a minute, if I'm working 12 hours a day, I can't." There has to be some type of adjustment. While we still have a little time left, I'd like to mention too that mediation's just not court-ordered mediation too. A lot of times people will come in to mediation – I'm certainly available for that as well – before they even file the lawsuit, and that also encompasses not just the issues of custody and visitation. That type of mediation can also encompass other things as well in terms of the finances, in terms of the child support, in terms of the whole picture.

Mediation

When mediation is best

Mediating child issues

Cost of mediation

Success of mediation

Benefits of mediation

Proceeding past mediation

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