During a divorce, you may find yourself a victim of a relentless stream of advice from friends and relatives. You may be asked if you are sure, did you get counseling, what about the children, how can you afford it and a host of other questions that you don’t want to hear, much less respond to them. To those who are genuinely concerned, reassure them that you will be ok, but you need to be able to count on their love, support, and their respect for your decision.
It is quite common for people to judge because they are jealous of your courage. They frequently are in bad marriages themselves and lack the resolve to do anything about it. They may attempt to turn their lack of action into a virtue. “My marriage isn’t a bed of roses either, but I am keeping my vows.” A bit more assertiveness may be needed to deal with people of this nature. Let them know that you respect their decision, but you have to do what is best for you.
Some people have strong opinions that divorce in general is wrong in all situations, and pass moral judgment on you. Their opinions may be rooted in their own moral or political platform, religion, outdated social perceptions or something less obvious. These people may be the most difficult to silence. Firmly let them know that you respect their beliefs, but will make your decisions based on what you believe.
Others may judge you based on the rumors they have heard. People love to gossip about divorces and speculate of the reasons, which can quickly turn into rumors. You may find yourself the subject of gossip at work, or in social situations. You must remember that these types of people are bored with their own life, so try to find stimulation in the lives of others. You can feel free to tell them politely but assertively that you do not feel the need to explain your divorce to them.
Self-proclaimed legal experts will be full of advice as well. The internet is full of sites with all kinds of advice about how to handle the laws and paperwork for divorce. There are sites selling do it yourself divorce kits. It is important not to let these people confuse or mislead you. The decision to end a marriage is a very personal one, and you must do what you feel in your heart is best for you, and the legalities are crucially important to your future.
If you are seeking a divorce, listen to your heart and get a seasoned divorce attorney to lead you through the difficult legal path to divorce. Call (847) 520-8100 today for advice that is founded in knowledge and experience.